I Really Do Know How Blessed I Am!

I’d just like to set the record straight for myself. I know I’ve come off as ungrateful these past few weeks. Since learning of this pregnancy I’ve had a hard time accepting the congrats that comes along with it. I know so many people that would love to be in the position that I’m in. They would do anything for the chance to bring new life in this world. It’s hard for me to explain my feelings. I know without a doubt that I want this child. I know that even though it wasnt my plan, that the plan God has for me is so much greater. I guess my biggest debate is that I never wanted to face pregnancy loss again. I never wanted to have the fear that something isn’t right, or that I cant get excited about it bc of the possible future. I know in my heart that I cant live my life in fear. I know that God is in control of my future and all my dreams. It’s my mind that needs convincing.

I haven’t felt sick this whole time, other than feeling tired. And instead of just living my best life, I’m worried that the baby isn’t growing bc of my lack of symptoms.

I know to those around me it makes no sense.

I know that I’ve had a month to let this all settle in. And it really has! I’ve had three ultrasounds and each one has been perfect with a good strong heart beat.

I just want my friends out there that want a baby so bad that you can taste, just know that I’m not being ungrateful.

I never ever saw myself mothering another little human. The first one God gave me was is so perfectly amazing and healthy that I feel selfish longing for another one. I may have said this before, but it’s so ironic how I didnt even know i wanted another baby. But God did, and he gave me my hearts hidden desire. Forgive me if I’ve upset anyone with my negativity along the way. I’m still getting use to this idea. I know I’ll be fine and I’m trusting this baby will be just as perfect as Eli. I trusting that our Father will allow the remander of this pregnancy to be uneventful and healthy. I’m trusting that this one will be my husbands dream come true. The little girl he has wanted forever. Until I feel the writing bug again.

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Breathing a Little Easier Today!

Today I had a couple of appointments, so I took the day off work. That is extremely rare for me but Nevertheless, I really enjoyed my day.

My first appointment wasnt until 11:30, so I took my time waking up and getting ready. I had some breakfast and watched a few episodes of Greys. I sure didnt want to leave my sweet puppy.

Oh! Before I forget, I wanna wish Mr. Tiny Buddy Jones Happy Doggie Day! Isn’t he beautiful???

Anyways, I reluctantly got up and got myself presentable. At appointment number 1 I filled out paperwork and saw a counselor whom took the time to pray with me and help ease my anxiety. It was so nice to have someone that understands my fears.

Afterwards I stopped by the grocery store to get things for taco bowl night. I’m currently having trouble breathing because Eli can sure cook a mean taco meat.

I came back home relaxed a little until Tj came home. He and I went to appointment # 2 together. It was another ultrasound! The first one Tj was able to see and he was so excited. Little Bear looked great and its heartbeat was a strong 174! Tj is dying to know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl. We read the other day that a heartbeat above 140 could mean a girl. Tj wants one so bad! I’m to the point that I dont care what it is as long as its healthy. Do you guys have any other gender tests or things we could try?

❤

A Different Kind of Update.

Hello there my long lost WordPress family! As most of you know around this time I come on to give you all my weight loss update for the month. Well this month took a whole different turn.

To catch you up, last month I had lost 42 pounds and was living my best life. Me and Keto were the best of friends and we often invited Intermittent fasting to join in on our fun. In all I ended up losing 45 pounds. I was super proud of myself and had so many plans to keep going and reaching all of my fitness and weight loss goals! But God had other plans!

On Aug. 5, 2019 I found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. Yes, you read that right. Here I am about to be 37 in a few weeks, in the best shape of my adult life and bam!!! Right in the kisser! Let me remind you that by the time this baby is born, my 1st sweet baby boy will be 14 years old!! Lol.

I’m not going to lie, for the first whole week after I found out I was kinda devastated. How was I going to go through this again after having a miscarriage in 2004, and then having the most miserable pregnancy experience with Elijah. I had so many things j wanted to accomplish, one was losing 100 pounds.

If you knew me you would know my stance on my contentment of having an only child. You can look back at my blog posts and see that I’ve written at least one post about it.

Here I am now, 7 weeks and 2 days along the way. I’m finally coming around to the Idea that I’m going to be a Mommy again…at 37. My husband and son have both been over the moon the whole time! I felt at one time that I was the only person on the face of this earth that wasnt feeling this life altering situation.

My fears and anxieties have been at all time highs these last few weeks. All i could think about was the heart break i went through when I lost my first baby. I’ve been having flashbacks of September 21, 2004, and I had terrible cramps all day while I was at work. Before the end of my shift I went to the bathroom and that’s where I discovered the start of the worst day of my life. I ended up having a d&c, and afterwards my doctor came in and told me that although I was 13 weeks along, my baby had not formed past week 2. In his exact words, “There was no baby, just tissue.” Like that was supposed to make me feel better.

Come to find out i have a rare blood type, O-, as well as the Rh factor. This is a condition in which my blood and the baby’s blood doesn’t mix. Therefore my cells thought that the baby was a foreign body and attacked it, causing my body to abort it naturally.

I spent a year after hating public places bc people would come up and ask me how the baby was, not knowing I had lost it, and hating anyone that was pregnant or had a baby. It wasnt fair that I had fallen in love with this baby I thought I was carrying inside of me, only to have it taken away. And right down the road there was a 14 year old girl having a baby the same day I was due.

These are the thoughts that have been going through my head, the negative Nancy ones. The kind that I know the devil has been working over time to put there. Not the good, positive ones that come from God above.

I woke up this past Saturday and decided no more devil! I was going to do my best to enjoy this pregnancy bc I know it will be my last. So from then on out I have been determined to keep positive biblical thoughts in my heart and mind. I know that even though my plans will not belived out, that Gods plans are always perfect. So here goes nothing!!

LilBear Jones due April 6th 2020!

❤ LaBranda

Goodbye Summer 2019!

I cant believe it’s already over! 😒 This was the most amazing adult summer ever! I got so many things accomplished and fell in love with taking better care of myself. I had tons of adventures as well as a few health scares with both my parents. I’ve finally gotten myself in somewhat of a tidy house routine and hope I can stick to it when school starts back. This has been a very active summer, therefore I didnt get as much reading done as I would have liked. Instead I’ve had the opportunity to really reconnect with my boys. We are all on the low carb train and gym six days a week train. Also, Eli is playing on his first travel ball team! He did have to miss if first tournament this weekend after battling what we think is a bad case of staph on the back of his legs. Thank goodness we caught it when we did and he is on the mend. I cant say I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow, but I’m going to miss the days of wearing nothing but workout clothes, staying up late and sleeping in. Here are a few pictures of my summer. I hope you all had an amazingly awesome Summer as well!

Me and Kate taking my new car threw the carwash!

Eli loving on Lele

Tj and Bella

Me and Tiny

Me getting my workout on

One of my progress photos

Me and my girls doing our thang

Girls day

My June workout results

Feeling myself

Blessed new car!!

Me and my girl Nickie

My boys are the State champs and are currently playing in the World Series!

Weight Loss Journey Update!

Hello my fellow WordPress friends! I am sorry that I have not been very active on this site very much. I have had a very busy Summer! Only one more week left! 😫 Nevertheless, this has been the healthiest, most productive Summer of my life! I have gotten so many things done and I wish I had time to go over all of them with you. I’ll stick to the most important one, my weight loss journey.

Thursday was day 150! That’s how many days it’s been since I decided to make my life worth living. I realized that I really am worth it. I have so much to live for and waking up one day at 312 pounds was enough to get me going.

150 days later I am a completely different person. The last time I checked, which isn’t very often bc, it always gets to my head, I was 275. I can’t believe I just said that! 🙈 I have never been one to assign myself a number, but something I’m learning along this journey is in order to help yourself get through you have to be open and honest. That in return will help those around you and give them the courage and confidence they need to get started .

Ive lost 38 pounds but I’ve gained my true self. I really believe I’ve found myself for the first time in my life.

If you would like to follow my story a little closer, please find me on Facebook at LaBranda R. Jones. Feel free to inform me that you and I are blog buddies because I don’t typically accept requests from people I dont know. Also I tend to get most of my motivation from watching other peoples journeys on Instagram so you can follow me there at labrandas_journey.

I appreciate all of you sweet encouragement lately and I hope to hear from you soon! Have an amazing weekend and do something for yourself that your body will thank you for later!

😍 LaBranda

The Girl I Use to Be

This was the girl I was over 20 years ago. I regret not loving this girl. I’m ashamed that I didnt enjoy this body when I had it. If you knew this girl, you know that she always wore baggy boy clothes to hide her body. She didnt know how to handle her eating disorder. She didn’t have all the love and support from all the people she does now. She didnt feel loved, but she loved too much, too hard. Even though she is smiling, in most of these pictures her heart was broken. She was a people pleaser, and she said sorry for things that were not her fault. She still does that!

Now, over 20 years later, she is a wife, a mother, and a teacher. She finally feels true unblemished love. She wears her heart on her sleeve still. She has learned how to say no, most of the time. She has learned that she is worth it. Worth the time, worth the money, worth the sweat and tears it takes to find herself again. Actually, no, to find herself for the 1st time in her entire life.

Her Husband loves her no matter what. He encourages her in his own way. He doesn’t care what she does or doesn’t do to meet her goals, as long as she is happy.

The fact the she doesn’t think her son is ashamed of her, gives her strength to carry herself through one more fast, one more workout, and one more rough day.
This girl is the same girl, yet different in all the positive ways! Not only will she make her friends and loved ones proud, most importantly she will make HERSELF proud. LaBranda Raye Finley Jones, I love you so much and I’m still fighting for you! Let’s knock out these goals!!

❤ LaBranda

Day 100!!

Day 100! 100 days since I decided enough is enough! 100 days since I decided that I am enough. My life is worth saving. 100 days since I realized that I really have not been living life to the fullest! 100 days of winning mixed with some failures. 100 days since I learned to take it one day at a time. It’s taken 100 days for me to see a difference in my appearance. Thank God for these past 100 days! Yall watch out, I’ve come a long way, I’m not done yet, the best is yet to come!!!
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