Tag Archives: depression

As The World Turns

Good evening WordPress world! You have caught me on a rare Tuesday night. No baseball practice, no school work for me, and Piper went to bed like a sweet sweet princess. So here I sit, having myself some alone time. It allows me to think about the things going on in our world today. Things our children should never have to deal with, and should never have to hear about when they turn on the t.v. or radio. The one pressing on my heart tonight is the Gabby Petito case. Another young soul with her life ahead of her gone too soon.

I’m not super familar with the case, I try not to listen to the news too much because it’s just too depressing these days. The jest of what ive gathered is that she was a victume of domestice violence. Sadly she wasn’t able to break out of her personal hell. I have 3 very close friends that have been in situations like hers. One didn’t make it out either. It haunts me to this day that I could have done more for her than I did. Even if we did live 100s of miles away from each other. Why didn’t I know more about what was going on? Because once the narcassist gets into your brain and heart they brainwash you into beliving that you are worthless.

Photo by Luis Dalvan on Pexels.com

Thankfully my other two friends were able to get out alive. One not without spending two and a half years in prions for taking the fall for crimes he commited just because he made her belive that it was all her fault.

America, we have to do better!! Not only do we have to raise our daughters to know without a doubt their daily worth, we also must teach our sons the vaule of a woman. That a woman is not a door mat to be trampled on and that they would not make it in the world without a good woman by their side. If we teach our sons to love and to not be ashamed to show love, then hopefully part of this lost and dying world can be recaputred for the good in us all.

I close in thoughts of there are not promises of tommorow, I am determined to fall more in love with life. Intentionally romanticising the walks I am on, the birds chirpping, the sound of my children’s laughter. The feeling I get when my husband tells me he loves me at random times of the day. All of it and more. I will take a closer look at the little things that make my heart beat faster. Be Blessed!!

If You Feel Like You are In The Darkness..

I am the type of person that will be scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see a picture or quote that speaks to my soul. Instead of sharing it right away, I’ll save it for nights light tonight when I want to write but I don’t know what to write about. So here we go, I’m sharing parts of my brain that lead to my soul. Happy Sunday!

Have you ever asked God why you were being put through something?

Just know that in all situations, God has control, lean on Him. Trust in God, for he will always be our Rock. Isaiah 26:4

Darkness affects everybody! There is nothing in the darkness that isn’t in the light. When we are standing snack dab in the middle of the darkness, you have to figure out not HOW to get out of it, but WHAT you will get out of it. The darkness is real people. I claim this time and time again.

Photo by Adam Kontor on Pexels.com

Even during your darkest days, streaks of light will break through the storm clouds – providing hope and comfort. My unfailing love shines upon you always. Look up to Me and see My Face shining down upon you. I never run out of compassions. They are new every morning. – Jesus Today by Sarah Young

Lord I praise you for your goodness and your faithfulness to all of your children. I even praise you for the blackness of disease and death, of desperation and discouragement, of pain and problems, of stress and suffering, because it makes the evidence of your glory more visible in our lives.

Worship will get you through the roughest times in your life, because it shifts your focus from the problem to the problem solver!

Whatever season you are in, God will guide you through. Just as a ship is controlled by a captain, so are you! Allow God to be your captain today. He will weather the storm with you.

My child, you worry too much. I’ve got this, remember? Love, God

I hope everyone has an amazing new week! I’m counting down the days until Spring Break! 5 days to go!!

LOVE, LABRANDA

Hello 2021 Goodbye 2020

I almost did write this post. As we all know 2020 has been one for the birds. I’ve personally gone through some of the scariest moments of my life. The uncertainty of this time has added a lot of extra stress and anxiety to my life. But, in addition to chaos, 2020 brought smiles, giggles, slobber and a little girl that I didnt know I wanted.

Piper will be 10 months old next week. These last 10 months have been rough at moments yet amazing at most. I dont want this post to be filled with the dreadfulness that we have all come to know. If you need any of that look back at my older posts where I talk about my terrible post partum depression.

Usually my New Years posts are filled with reflections, but the only positive reflection I have is Piper ElizabethAnne Jones. And she is something to look forward to as well.

We dont know what 2021 will bring us. If nothing else this year has taught us that. But we do know that whatever it is our Father God will bring us through it.

I pray you all have an amazing New Years eve. We are going to some friends house and have a bonfire and play some games. A little different one again than recent years, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! Be Blessed WordPress!

My Current Oppression

 

Last week was not a good week for me. It will do no good for me to go into any details of why it really sucked so bad. My only hope is to look forward to this new week as a clean horizon of goodness; a new month of thankfulness. I did learn a few things during my week spent in oppression.

I think back to some years ago before I knew depression. No, I take that back, I did know depression during these days, but I didn’t realize that was what was going on. I guess I just assumed the way I felt was normal and I would just have to learn how to deal with it. 

My very best friend of many years was going through some things. Things that I felt as her best friend that she should have shared with me so that she wouldn’t have to carry her burdens alone. I was so hurt when I found out that she had been going through these things silently all alone. I felt like she didn’t love or trust me enough to share with me what she was thinking or how she was feeling. I understand now though, that when you are in that state of mind, you physically do not have the strength to reach out. It can be so exhausting to begin to explain feelings and thoughts that you don’t understand. Emotions are so tricky and can lead you to extreme isolation if you are not careful. Those were some dark, lonely days for both of us. The only thing I knew to do was to keep her prayed up and to randomly let her know that I would be there when and if she was ready to talk. To this day when I think about her, I will shoot her a text and will not expect a response. And that’s ok. Years later she told me that in her darkest days one of the things that kept her going were the irregular messages from me just letting her know that I loved her and was praying for her. Right now I need that in my life. There are days that I only have enough energy to get myself and Piper up and ready for work and daycare. Go through my day and get back home in time to crawl back into bed. My house is a complete despondent time bomb ready to go off. I feel so ashamed of the state in which I have allowed it to get into. Yet I don’t have the strength to conquer the mountain. Instead I keep myself busy and avoid it at all cost. 

Although I have shared some writings on here about my battle with my mental illness before, I have not been very open with those people that I know in real life. I don’t like for things to be awkward, and I surely don’t like to be a burden to anyone. There are only a few select people that really know details about my warfare. I feel that today that needs to change though. I’m sure there are others out there just like me that deal with things and can’t talk about them because of fear for different reasons. 

Here are some encouraging words of wisdom I received this week from people that mean the world to me. I hope it brings someone else some peace.

Depression is kind of like cancer, it doesn’t care how awesome your life is. It attacks and weakens you to the point of not being able to fully recognize what you have. Today just find a few mins alone and pray or listen to a Jesus son or message. Connect yourself back to your maker for a moment, recenter.  HJG

Depression isn’t a reaction to something happening in your life. It’s a chemical disposition happening in your brain. There doesn’t need to be a “reason” you are feeling depressed. It’s just something that happens and we have to learn to manage it. Someone who’s never been through it can’t understand that there is not always a WHY to what you are feeling. It can’t be explained, and that’s ok.  KEG

If you are reading this and have made it this far, I say all of this to say, I am here if you need an ear. I don’t have the answers you probably need but I know how therapeutic it can be just to get things off your chest without fear of judgement. If we follow each other on WordPress or Facebook there is a reason. Please feel free to reach out to me. Tomorrow is a new and beautiful day. Be blessed!!!

Love, LaBranda